My life timeline went like this. Great kid but around 7th grade things changed. I started to look around and feel judged for the things that made me unique. I made one mall step inside blending in and then another. By the time I reached University I was totally checked out. One bad habit after another and they told me it would catch up to me. I was praying for the cataclysmic even that never happened. It was a slow grind to the bottom and my bottom probably didn't look too bad from the outside looking in. No jail-time. No defeating life threatening diseases. I didn't lose any limbs like I wanted. Somehow I was just aware enough to look at my boss and my bosses boss to know that I didn't want their lives and I would probably become that if I hung around corporate America long enough. Somehow I was thrown a lifesaver to teach English in another country which was the definition of privilege.
Ungcheon, Yeosu, South Korea
In University I was cocky sarcastic person who really didn't give a fuck about anyone besides himself. Thought I had the whole world figured out. Towards the end of university I knew deep within that I was in a deep dark state. I retreated. I ended up submerging myself in every single podcast and book I could find. Libraries were my best friend. One day I would be reading 10 different psychology books cover to cover and the next it would be business books.
Lesson learned: One small action defeats reading 1,000 books any day. Unless you are Good Will Hunting with a photographic memory. However, you are probably screwed then because it seems like being a genius is a gift and a curse. Luckily I am no genius. Just smart enough to know that I can make a big impact and just stupid enough to believe that my "hard" work will "pay" off.
I went from a great kid with so much hope and promise to making one small step in 7th grade to disappearing from the planet for years. I was a fragile broken mess but only realized in hindsight. South Korea gave me the opportunity to break myself down and build a solid life foundation for myself. When I started blogging 4 years ago I didn't know shit. I still don't know anything but I am way more aware and comfortable with it.
The beginners mind matched with the never give up work ethic.
Dalai Lama meet David Goggins.
Meditation meets navy seal.
There are places for both out there and there are places where the magic happens.
The convergences of the two.
Rebirth and a new start